Photo shoots gone WRONG

Ohhh Patricia Barber.  Sweet, sweet Patricia Barber.  It's a good thing you're a "Jazz queen" and Where magazine isn't exactly flying off shelves because this is baaaaad.  Sounds like Chicago??  Sounds more like someone needs to fire their publicist.  I can't really blame her though because if I wanted Chicago-ers to attend MY concert, I'd definitely choose the burnt-orange raincoat with the sleeves that are a good five inches too short; and I wouldn't think twice about the chunky bracelets that make me look as though I've recently escaped prison but didn't have the key to the handcuffs.  I'm also sure it's just natural for a cover model to raise one knee, violently grip that knee with their left hand (making sure their pinky looks as though it's been dislocated) and then awkwardly place their right hand behind them (not really leaning against it--just kinda leave it at an odd angle so it looks like they're reaching for something no one can see). THEN, as if all that weren't photo gold, I'd be sure to have someone cover my right eye ENTIRELY with bangs and flash the camera a harsh, tight-lipped, dead-eyed look that screams "back the fuck up before I make you wish you were dead."  Yep. That'll get people to see a jazz concert.  Lovesss it.