Best animal voiceovers EVER

You haven't LIVED until you've seen this video!

Home Depot TV spot

1. [Hear group laughter and chatter as footsteps walk down stairs]

2.  [All noise stops abruptly as Randy and two guys see the room. A chip falls from Randy's mouth]

Randy (through mouthful of chips): Gary man, what is this?

3.  [Gary pushes his way into the room to face the group]

Gary: What is what? It's the new man cave!

[Gary’s arms open wide revealing the baby blue man cave behind him]

4.  [Laughter from group]

Guy 1: Yeah no it’s not.

5.  [Gary’s smile fades]

Guy 2: Dude, it looks like baby smurf threw up in here.

6.  [Gary is shocked. Group laughs]

Guy 1: Wasn’t this the color of your prom dress Gary?

[Group laughs as Guy 2 pushes Gary who pushes back]

Guy 1: (sighs from laughing) Yeah we’re out of here.

[Group turns and heads up stairs]

Gary: Really guys? Randy!

 

7.  [Gary puts hand out to stop Randy who’s last to leave] 

Gary: C’mon man. It’s just paint.

Randy: Dude I can’t. [Looks back at room] It’d be like sitting in a tampon box. 

8.  [Group laughs. Randy pats Gary on back and leaves him starring at the room]

9.  [THE HOME DEPOT logo]

V/O: Until there's hassle-free friends, we've got hassle-free returns.

10.  [Gary puts baby blue paint can on counter at Home Depot]

Employee: No go?

Gary: I don’t want to talk about it.

Best croquet fight ever

You can't SCRIPT crazy this good! I know it's shows like this that are the downfall of our society but the MINUTE that girl's body was thrown rag-doll-style onto the lawn, I was sold.

Sirius Satellite Radio Ad

Careerbuilder 2011 Super Bowl Ad "Parking Lot"

I know I'm two weeks too late to be posting a Superbowl commercial but I'm tired of hearing about Eminem and his silly Chrysler so I'm retaliating with this gem. My favorite part is strangely when the poor guy yells "Ron!" at the end. I don't know why but it gets me every time.

Hairspray headlines

1. We’re responsible for your hairstyle spending the night.  That strange dude with the “I heart Natalie” tattoo? That was all you.
2. Looks like your hairstyle isn’t the only thing leftover from last night.
3. We hold tight so you can let loose.  Really, really loose.
4. Style that lasts all day meets boy who lasts all night.
5. Your hairstyle shouldn’t quit before you do.
6. If this is your idea of a Tuesday night, this is your hairspray.
7. Fix less. Party more.
8. Gives you confidence to yell things like “THIS IS MY SONG!”
9. Goes great with your drunk dance.
10. Unlike every boyfriend you had in high school, it’ll last all night.
11. Holds like you would if you were holding the last beer on earth.
12. We’ve perfected the art of holding on. You? Not so much. [mechanical bull]
13. Judging by the 27 calls you made to your ex-girlfriend last night, looks like you don’t know how to let go either.
14. Holds tight so you can get the kind of loose that leaves you with an illegible tramp stamp in the morning.
15. We promise your hairstyle will be there when you’re done dancing on the bar.  Can’t speak for your clothes.
16. Your hairstyle is the only thing you’ll recognize in the morning.
17. Long lasting hold for long lasting nights.
18. When we promised to hold your hair back, this isn’t what we pictured. [puking]
19. We’ll hold you hair down. Your top is on you.
20. They’ll wake up with split ends.  You’ll wake up with him.

Perfect Couples - Sneak Peek

If you're doing nothing with your life on Thursdays at 8:30/7:30c, I suggest you tune in to this little gem on NBC.  You'll laugh, you'll cry and (fingers crossed) you'll keep it from getting canceled before it finds an audience.

Our house (in the middle of our street)

Our House

I love our house. 

You asked me once, "do you care if we move?"

Stupidly I said I didn’t.

But when you toured that traitorous house on the lake,

A part of me was hurt.

You see I’ve always loved our house.

Before the remodel,

After the remodel,

Green door,

Red door,

Dangerously steep driveway or flat.

It’s taken many forms over 18 years,

But what I love never changes.

The stairway is still where the dogs sleep,

On guard but not really.

It’s where unclaimed laundry piles up,

And painful slips occur.

The living room belongs to our Christmas tree.

Wilted by ornaments,

Set ablaze by tinsel,

Surrounded by those couches you despise so much, 

But wouldn’t dare remove.

The dining room is fancy but not overly so.

It’s where extended family laughs,

Blue ribbon paella is served,

And puzzles come together.

The family room is exactly that;

Where TV is inhaled and crosswords conquered,

Sports teams are worshiped and ruthlessly jeered. 

Where blankets and remotes are hot commodities,

And catnaps turn to comas. 

The kitchen houses more than just our meals.

It’s been the site of bake-offs and Super Bowls,

Board games and Heimlich maneuvers.

It’s where the day’s events are discussed and analyzed,

Over a table made from scratch.

The bonus room is nobody’s bitch.

It’s where the DVR is caged,

Movies meet reverence or verbal assault,

And wars are settled over ping-pong.

I'd go on,

But I’ll stop there,

Because for all the things I love about our house,

The best is that it always feels like home.

Now and then

Today I found out what I loved then about this movie, I still love now.

If you were once a twelve-year-old girl and HAVEN'T seen this movie, I'd remedy that shit real quick and get yourself a copy.

If you're like me, you'll spend 80% of it wishing your childhood involved graveyard seances, neighborhood rivalries and Schwinn bike trips.  10% lip syncing songs like "Sugar, Sugar" and "I'll be there."  5% reminiscing about how sexy you thought Devon Sawa was circa 1995.  4% googling "Devon Sawa" and the last 1% envisioning the look of disappointment on Christina Ricci's face when they cast Rosie O'Donnell as her character's older self.