Chalk children

I know these children! Well not THESE children but a pair just like them. I won't forget it. I was touring Alaska with my family ages ago and we stopped at this house owned by some family friends (I use the term "family friends" loosely because I don't even know their names now. I'm also using the term "house" loosely because I think most people would have deemed this thing a shack-on-wheels). Point is, they let us in so SOMEBODY must have known them.

What I remember happening next is me wandering innocently into the basement looking for a restroom I would never find. That's because seated in pitch black at a table BLOCKING my path to the restroom were two albino children (EXACTLY like the ones from the clip above) eating from a plate PILED with peas. And not the kind of peas you order as a sushi appetizer either--you know the snap peas you can hold. These were raw peas and NOTHING ELSE (See creepy picture below). Come to think of it, I don't even know how the damn things stayed on the plate without rolling off! Anyways, it's not important. What is, is that these chalk children were eating them ONE-BY-ONE with their forks but stopped the MINUTE they saw me round the corner. You know the "suspense music" that plays in the background of this clip?? Well that's EXACTLY what I heard in my head. Then I saw one of them mouth something I couldn't catch--no doubt HIGHLY ominous in nature like "visitors aren't welcome here" or "death will follow you now"--and I bolted upstairs like my life depended on it.

I learned that day what it took the cast of Cougar Town half an episode to understand; chalk children are no fucking joke man.