The Gloria Punch

I didn't think anything could beat Glee's bitch slap last May (See here) but leave it to Modern Family to prove me wrong. Not only is this right hook ALARMINGLY believable but I dare anyone to try and pull off the words "NO ONE CALLS HIM GRANDPA!" better than Sofia Vergara. The outtakes for this single 7-second scene have got to be phenomenal.

GIRL FALLS OFF STAGE AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 11 (Full Video) [HD]

I probably shouldn't love this clip as much as I do but I can't fight it. Aside from the fact that the girl dead-weight plummets like she's been shot with a tranquilizer gun, the judge's reactions KILL me. How are they still in their seats?? A girl just swan dove into concrete and NO ONE moves?? I couldn't believe it and I couldn't take my eyes away or stop hitting rewind. I also love that this particular clip is followed RANDOMLY with a cat chasing its tail?? So deliciously weird.

Adele Takes Home Album of the Year at Grammys

NEVER did I think I would be posting a grammy acceptance speech as one of my favorite things but I loved this one so much. On top of the fact that 21 was a FANTASTIC album--and one of the few I actually paid money for--I'm a sucker for any awards show where the winner IMMEDIATELY and with no shame bursts into tears when their name is announced. This clip has that, a nice dose of humor and a british accent. Can't beat that combo. Bravo Adele.

Family Guy Baskin Robbins cow

I couldn't--in good conscience--reference Family Guy in a post and then NOT follow with this clip. It remains one of my favorites, not just because they gave the cow a RIDICULOUS accent, but also because of the sheer randomness of the cow's presence. The scene--and life really--never calls for a talking cow in a mall eating ice cream and yet someone was genius enough to write it. Bravo.

WHheat Thins: Family Guy

Thought for a minute that I had accidentally changed the channel to a hilarious (and heavily branded) episode of Family Guy but it's not. Just a cleverly random and charming Wheat Thins commercial that I now love and will quote--no doubt--in the near future. Well played Nabisco...well played.

Amy's Grocery Hidden Camera Prank

After watching this clip from the Ellen Show, I'm now convinced I should just devote this entire blog to her clips. The prank is made infinitely better because Amy can't seem to hear half of what Ellen in relaying to her. I've re-watched this clip at least five times now and the Knock-knock joke followed by the impromptu tap dancing STILL leaves me crying. I'm also partial to her yelling "I HAVE TWO CATS!" and pulling farrrr too many bags for one banana. What you didn't see, was before this clip, Ellen also had Amy (who may be my new favorite Ellen staffer) take at least 8 bites out of an apple and put it into a stranger's cart. HAHA too good.

Kristen Bell's Sloth Gets Auto-tuned!

OH mannnnn. I didn't think the clip I posted last week could get any better and then someone went and added auto-tune AND a guitar-playing sloth?!?! Get outta here.  I love it so much.

Kristen Bell's Sloth Meltdown

I haven't posted anything on this blog in for-ev-er but I didn't know where else to put this clip once I saw it. It's Kristen Bell describing her love of sloths and then showing a hilariously embarrassing home video of herself. It truly is one of my favorite things.

Someone's abandoned bucket list

Today the hilarious Natasha Leggero posted this pic on Twitter along with the caption "My friend was renting his apartment to a chick he met at Burning Man and she left this behind."  I'd like to start by saying that if I were creating a list of the "Top 100 things to do before I die," I'd write "Find someone's abandoned bucket list" as item #1 because this thing is AMAZING.  #20 is my favorite by far not only because I imagine her FURIOUSLY adding it but also because it's sandwiched between "take care of a dog(s)" and "always write thank-you notes." 

Logo FAIL

 

Saw this logo on a subway ad today and was equally horrified and entertained by its inappropriateness.  I guess SafePlace is supposed to rescue victims of sexual and domestic violence but from the looks of the logo that's EXACTLY what's going to be going on when they get to this "safe place."  Before you object, take a good look at those two figures and tell me that doesn't look like someone's getting FULL ON groped from behind??  You may counter with "no, no, no the person in front is FACING the other person and they're just hugging."  But I thought of that too and that's EQUALLY creepy!  Someone grabbing you with big meaty paws like that and holding you against their face while your arms are pinned at your sides?!?  Uhhh no thank you.  I've seen dumpsters that look like safer places than this. FAIL!

Photo bomb!

 

HAHA here's a little gem my sister sent me via Facebook two months ago. I just found it today because Facebook and I have this long-standing love/hate relationship--I love to talk about how much I hate it.  Do I like, dislike, poke, prod, tazer, unfriend, refriend, defriend, and then freefriend?  That's far too much work.  The only reason I haven't deleted my sad little profile entirely is because every other month I will receive something--whether it be a Facebook photo, link or message--that is as profoundly brilliant as what you see above.  The fact that someone turned what would have otherwise been a loving memory captured between a father and his children into an ominous scene out of a horror movie?? Using just one word!?? Get outta here.  That's brilliant.

Please note I almost titled this post "photo bombs are the bomb" but stopped myself.  You're welcome.  If the aversion to Facebook didn't make me look like a senior citizen, the fact that I would even THINK to write that title definitely does.

CUTE puppy

Also I found this today.  You're welcome.

The Soup: Surviving Shakespeare

I was only half watching this week's episode of The Soup until my senses were bombarded by the words "Ay Caramba!" followed almost immediately by the theme to thriller. My eyes shot to the screen (naturally--a person only gets one chance to catch that kind of combo in life) and what I watched was nothing short of pure magic. I've since watched this clip 10 times and can tell you the reason for a Shakespeare/Michael Jackson mash up is never made clear but I wouldn't want it any other way. While watching the star actress stumble along to the dance moves is hilarious, seeing her hit herself in the head with a plastic mallet and fall into a 8-year-old's crotch is pretty great too. Enjoy!

Whoa! Just watched it an 11th time.  Can we talk about the beast that falls out of the first coffin?!? Haha just sayin'

TP trauma

What a tragic little scene unfolding here.  I love that my first reaction was actually a gasp--I mean look at how scared that top guy is!  I love it.

NUTS inside

Didn't know where this ad was going until I read the tagline.  Well done something called KNAZ.  That product name could use some work but your ad is spot on.

Glidden boyfriend commercial

Found this second gem while searching for the first Glidden commercial. Love that Bobby--who we don't see but I can already picture the kid's ears--is replaced with someone named Fernando. Who names their kid Fernando?? No one. Totally makes me think she's dating someone older and I instantly share this dad's concern. Well done Glidden and Walmart. I can't name too many other paint commercials that would make me laugh as much as these two.

Glidden mural commercial

Aside from the PHENOMENAL voice over the "mural" does--Don't paint meeeeee--I'd like to just revel for a second in the sheer randomness of the mural artwork being in a living room in the first place. Who would have this in their home?? No one. And that's why it's brilliant. I also love how quickly she silences him with the paint..."yeah, no. He's gotta go." Amazing.

Chelsea Handler Visits the Old People

As promised, a second dose of Chelsea Handler's run in with the elderly. LOVES it.

Chelsea Handler with Pop Culture Oldies

It's been too long since I've posted (what happened to June??) so I thought I'd come back strong with a double dose of my favorite clips from the OLD Chelsea Handler show--back when she was competing with shows like The Simple Life and Chuy was just the name of my favorite Quaker Oats granola bars. As hilarious as Chelsea is in this clip, it's actually Marion who steals the show. Enjoy!

Chalk children

I know these children! Well not THESE children but a pair just like them. I won't forget it. I was touring Alaska with my family ages ago and we stopped at this house owned by some family friends (I use the term "family friends" loosely because I don't even know their names now. I'm also using the term "house" loosely because I think most people would have deemed this thing a shack-on-wheels). Point is, they let us in so SOMEBODY must have known them.

What I remember happening next is me wandering innocently into the basement looking for a restroom I would never find. That's because seated in pitch black at a table BLOCKING my path to the restroom were two albino children (EXACTLY like the ones from the clip above) eating from a plate PILED with peas. And not the kind of peas you order as a sushi appetizer either--you know the snap peas you can hold. These were raw peas and NOTHING ELSE (See creepy picture below). Come to think of it, I don't even know how the damn things stayed on the plate without rolling off! Anyways, it's not important. What is, is that these chalk children were eating them ONE-BY-ONE with their forks but stopped the MINUTE they saw me round the corner. You know the "suspense music" that plays in the background of this clip?? Well that's EXACTLY what I heard in my head. Then I saw one of them mouth something I couldn't catch--no doubt HIGHLY ominous in nature like "visitors aren't welcome here" or "death will follow you now"--and I bolted upstairs like my life depended on it.

I learned that day what it took the cast of Cougar Town half an episode to understand; chalk children are no fucking joke man.